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Ok, I made minor adjustments to my Book, Did it help? What do you think?
Ok, I am writing a book about the lives of CATS and I need some opinions. Help me out? By the way this is a SMALL portion of CHAPTER 2 —>”Is she gonna’ live?” a voice slurred, a bit paniced. “Of course.” Another voice spoke, but then quietly whispered, “I hope.” Primrose soon recognized the voices of Lion and Liefie, (pronounced – Leef-e-ay) Primrose tried to say something, anything to reassure them that she was okay, but nothing came out. Her sore body flinched with the effort. And soon, another voice came into the conversation, “Is Primrose okay?” the voice spoke quietly as though not to disturb her. Liefie spoke again, “Yes, Moonlight, Primrose will be fine, at least within a few days of rest.” Liefie paused before continuing, “Now please, Moonlight, go back to sleep. Your wounds are very severe.” she pleaded to him. But Moonlight just kept looking around the hollow and studying Primrose closely. “Sure, sure.” Moonlight replied clearly very deep in thought. Liefie sighed after a moment, then padded out of the den. Primrose heard her leave, so she pricked her ears for Lion, but since she didn’t hear him anymore, she guessed he must have left. She flinched from her sore body and the last thing she remembered was being ambushed from a big black dog Pin Adjustments and hitting a tree, hard too, then she saw nothing but red. Primrose opened her eyes, but her vision was blurry at first,and after a second they cleared. She was laying down inside a hollow tree, with a moss bed beneath her. and two others across from her Moonlight lay sleeping soundly in the one next to hers. Strangely big tree. Never seen this before – she noted to herself as she staggered to her paws, trying not to wake the sleeping Moonlight as she quickly examined him. He had bandages all over his muzzle and torso, and they were stained a dark bloody red. Primrose felt a quick stab of guilt, and remembered their fateful walk when they were ambushed. She shuddered and quickly sat back down in her own bed. Suddenly, Liefie padded in, “Oh, Primrose!” She meowed happily, breathing a huge sigh of relief as she shecked Primrose over. “I’m so glad you’re awake. Many cats have been here to visit you. You know?” Primrose nodded her head, afraid to speak incase her voice cracked from not speaking in so long. Liefie paused and looked at her cautiously, sniffing her all over, “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked her. Primrose nodded carefully trying to look confident, but still afraid to speak. Liefie sighed again and before she could ask any more questions, Primrose darted out of the hollow. Not trusting her senses, or her nosy brother, Lion, Primrose exhaled softly and sat on her haunches. “What am I going to do?” She sighed. “I’ve nearly killed Moonlight and now I’m worrying everyone.” She told herslf, angry. Then suddenly, Primrose caught a strange scent in the air. She lifted her nose in the upwind direction. And a big black dog came out. Oh bloody he ll. She thought as she remembered the same dog that had injured and nearly killed her and Moonlight. Primrose bared her teeth at the dog and the dog snarled at her. “You’re mine.” She spat as she lunged for his furry throat, but caught his shoulder instead. The dog shook her off and took a snap at her tail, and clamped down hard. Primrose yowled with pain and fury and fought to free her bleeding tail. The dog snickered and let her go, so Primrose took the chance and slashed at his muzzle with her unsheathed claws. The dog yelped in surprise and took a step back, then snarled in rage and pinned her to the soft muddy ground, before she could dart out of the way. “No. You’re mine.” the dog growled just before getting a hold of her small throat in his jaws.Please tell me what you think. By the way, please be honest. I am 13 and i need the TRUTH. And PLEASE ask me any questions you have about my book. Thanks.Darn, Sorry guys. I know I still have alot of grammar and spelling to work on. Sorry :/
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